Back In Action

Whew!  That was a week that just flew by -- on here, but not in my life.

I got very sick Friday night and by Saturday morning it was clear I could not go to work.

I don't know if I have ever been that sick.  I thought it was a sinus infection I was so choked with flem.  I sniffled a lot but when I would try to blow my nose nothing would come out.

Saturday night I found some Musinex in the kitchen cupboard.  Yea!!  It helped me clear things out a bit so I could sleep.

I called Lonesome's Pizza but was told they don't deliver to my area anymore as they have moved.  I couldn't figure out what to do.  It always helps me to completely carbo load when I am sick.  It gives me strength and I seem to feel better sooner.

I was in bed on my cell trying to figure out which pizza place to patronize.  Then I would get up and have to go online on my laptop so I could see their menus.

Finally decided on HOT LIPS.  It was damned good.  Got a cheese pizza and some pesto-basil breaksticks.

I was still very sick.  Could not breath.  No idea how I was going to make it through the night.

All I remember is waking up early Sunday morning and freaking out cuz I felt so bad.  It wasn't getting any better.

I called in sick and then downed some Dayquil I found in the cupboard under the bathroom sink. I had to go get supplies.

Saturday night I had also called NEW SEASONS to see if they delivered food.  I guess they used to.  It was just a guess.

The manager said that they could gather my groceries together and charge them and then hand them to a ready and waiting Radio Cab.  I called Radio Cab and it would only cost me $10.  But I couldn't get it all together in my mind.

Propped myself up -- under the wings of over the counter cold relief -- and drove to the store.  It felt great to be out amongst the lliving.

I got a JUST roasted chicken.  They knew I was waiting and they gave me the first one they got out of the oven.  I got Dayquil and Nyquil.  A small bag of chocolate cookies with salted caramel.

I had some chicken when I got home.  The rest of the day was pizza leftovers and cookies.  Gotta get a reward for being sick.

Thursdays FREE

Today is my official day of NOTHING.

Last night the neighbors across the landing from me moved out!!  Oh no!!  Richard (manager) does a lousy job of screening tenants.  I think he is lazy and just takes the first applicants.

That is not good for the rest of us residents.

Cats

Sometimes when I come home and my cats are here to greet me, I think, "CATS!  I am so lucky.  I actually have cats!!!"

I thank them every day.

Another Perfect Day of Rest

After three days of a heavy schedule (work + gym or class + gym) this little CFS sufferer needed a rest.

I skipped my Chronic Conditions workshop in favor of bed!!

Was up about an hour (got up at 1pm) and realized it was Herbie's birthday. Called him and sang to him.  Then we talked about an hour.

Turned on Judge Judy and watched her 'til 5.

Then cuddled down for a serious nap. 

Got up around 7:30.  Had dinner.  Watched Raising Hope. 

Called my friend, Hope, who was sleeping off a cold.  Just left a message on her machine.

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment at 10 (need to be there by 9:45 to check in ) and I am a little unhappy about it.  I made it to see Dr Buckley -- a follow-up to my RLS appointment last week -- and they have changed it to a different doctor, Dr DeVoe (or something like that).

They said, "Don't worry.  Dr DeVoe is on the same team as Dr Buckley," as if that would make it all better.

I would cancel but I need to pick up a prescription.   

From there I might go to the gym.  I would have time.

I will probably get home at 11:30 and my next doc appointment (gyno) is at 3:30.  Meaning I would have to leave here at 3.  But I think I still need to take it somewhat easy -- I am going to the gym Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

Good night!

Continuing Education

Decided to sign up for the second session of the class last night; paid today.

Gotta work hard work hard on the next piece I hand in.  Not sure if it will be my second draft of MOTHERS DAY 2008 or the FOOD PANTRY piece.

Probably won't sign up for the third session ... Armani needs to be taken care of.  I have planned his activity (lol) for November.

May cancel dentist appointment and push back to December so I can have that $100 a little bit longer.

How did I go from $1300 to $200 in savings .. in one month?

Oh well, there are certain characteristics of ourselves that we will have to go through again and again in this lifetime.  Mine is trying to hold onto money.

Sunday at WESTERN PET SUPPLY was great!  Wendy and Marcia really noticed my weight loss (!).  Almost 20 down .... 15-20 more to go.

They both asked what I was doing, what my secret was:
the gym
eating clean

My diet is only 80% Paleo.  The other 20% (though it might only be about 10%) I indulge myself in maple sugar candy and diet cokes.  Bread, every now and then, is OK but I notice I really don't eat all that much bread.

Sweet potatoes are a great grounding substitute.

Yogurt is OK -- greek yogurt, high in protein, and I still have cream in my coffee (which Paleo books say is OK) and milk in my lattes.

The lattes are my biggest offender -- though I only have about 2 a week when I am working.

Maybe 3.

lil miss coco chanel is wrapped up at my feet on the comforter I have curled up under my desk for such as occasion.  I am content.

I love this feeling.  Even sat in the quiet for a long moment.

Wed I see my primary care physician.  Will talk to her about sprained tongue.  Maybe it is an allergic reaction to something.

I also see my gyno that day.  A follow up pap smear to the two abnormal pap smears.

Tomorrow is my Chronic Conditions workshop.  Then the gym.

Wed (I have yoga) and Thurs are my days off.  Thurs is my complete good off and rest day.  No gym, no doctors appointments that day.  Thurs free forever.

A Happy Monday

Class was good.  Tongue still sprained.

I think I have figured out a way to still use my printer .. even though it will not print black.

Just select all the text and change the font color to blue.  My blue ink cartridge seems to work just fine.

Mirapex

I have to wonder if this drug is not raising my mood.  I have been extremely cheerful and content since I started taking it last Wednesday.

It could also be the fact that I am sleeping through the night that keeps me happy.

I am sniffing like crazy -- it being a windy time of year.  I think it was hotter today than people expected it to be.  75 degrees is very hot to me.  We are going to hover around there until Thursday.  and Thursday we are expected to hit 69 degrees.  Keep going down!!

Worked out at the gym after work.  Got my core work done in between sets on the weight machines.  Makes me nervous.  I get on a machine and do my 15 reps and then get off the machine go down to a mat and do some core work.  I am doing core work AFTER EACH SET on ALL MACHINES.

I don't want to be a machine hog.  I really am uncomfortable holding on to machines like this.  However, the funny thing is, if I just sat on the machine between sets like I usually do, I would be on the machine even longer.

On and off and on and off. 

Well, I have gotten through it twice since Lexi taught me ... and I am aware of others needing the machine ... I let them "play through."

Wrote a friend in my Memoir class to see if she could print out the pieces we are to read this week.  I can then transfer my notes to these pages and hand --  to each author  -- some feedback.

I would feel more invested in the class if I could do that.

Not sure if going to take the second leg of this class or not.  I will see how full the class is when I go in on Monday.  Maybe that will help me to decide.

I think:
$190 for class -- first
$150+ for Armani -- second
$150 for printer -- third

$100 goes to dentist next month.   That solves that.

I am just feeling so guilty about Armani and his mats.  Plus I am not sure the total of what that will cost.  The vet house call + exam will be $150.  And then what?  I guess we evaluate him and figure out how to get him to the vet (so he can be carefully sedated) or if they can shave him here.  There will be a part two to this process ... not sure how much that will be.

There.  I have made up my mind.

Another Great Day!!

Not to sound redundant but ... what another great day!!

You know how when your mood is positive and relaxed.  Everything feels right.  Everything feels good.

I started out getting up way to early this morning (7) for an 8:30 dental appointment.  I got there early .. the dentist was late.  She didn't get there until almost 9 ... having no idea Denise (receptionist) had scheduled her an early morning 8:30: me.

Got double polished, double cleaned, "pressure washed" and a lot of painful scraping of plaque/tartar time.

Came home -- instead of going to gym (it is a marathon .. not a sprint) -- and talked to Hope, then took a nap.

Just did my roots (7:54pm) and am sitting here letting the color take.  Tried on my purple appliqued jeans and .. THEY FIT!!

I bought them October 2009 when I had first lost a good amount of weight.  Here I go again!

Hopefully I can stay on track, get down to 145 and STAY THERE with consistent work outs and 80% Paleo eating.

Tomorrow I work at ANIMAL HOUSE in Milwaukie and then WESTERN PET (with the pissy Daman) on Sunday.

Working out both days after work, Monday after class and Tuesday after the workshop.

My printer is dead .. my cat is matted ... the registration for the 2nd Memoir class looms .. and I am just not sure where to put my $200 (+)

I like writing emails better than blogging cuz with emails at least I get some back and forth and someone is actually reading what I am writing.

But I will try to keep this up.

Sprained Tongue?

I think I sprained my tongue when I took that fall Thursday last week.

I really hurt myself tripping over a bump in the concrete.  I slammed down onto the ground chin first.  I scraped both my knees through my thick jeans.  Two hispanic women sat chatting in a car and had front row seats to my spill.  Neither offered support or asked if I was OK.

Friday, the next day, as I was driving to my p/t job, my breath was bugging me so I put a piece of gum in my mouth and chomped away.  A few seconds later I felt something hard in my gum.  I took the piece of gum out of my mouth and saw this huge sugar-colored cube that had jagged edges.  That jagged edged surprise turned out to be a porcelain filling the gum had sucked out of my jaw.

I started getting really freaked out about me swallowing.  I was really conscious of swallowing and would try to do so too early -- before the appropriate amount of moisture had collected in my mouth.  I would force myself to try to swallow right after I had swallowed.  It was impossible -- there was no saliva there to help me complete the movement. 

That would freak me out, too.  What if I never could swallow when I needed to?  I would suck water through the roof of my mouth and my tongue.  I never put the two together ... that:
1) the fall may have caused the filling to loosen (chin bruised on left side of face, filling popped out on left side lower)
2) the fall, perhaps, causing my tongue to sprain.

The pain wakes me up at night.  lol ... my tongue ... pain .. waking me up.  Weird.

Do not google "swollen tongue;" it will tell you you have cancer.

Don't think that wasn't already on my mind.

I am content sitting here at my laptop with Maxi running around in the butcher paper he so loves.  He likes to hide his toys under the paper and then discover them again ("prey!") so sometimes he will scoot along the long paths of paper, pawing underneath for a toy or two.

Man, I love that cat.

I also love lil miss coco chanel and Armani.  Coco is the perfect cat.  She loves being a cat.  I call her my Happy Little Dancer.

Armani is my Troubled Poet ... he is such a sweet cat but was abused as a kitten so he reacts mostly out of fear -- esp if anyone tries to put him in his carrier.  But he is a complete love bug and comes in and cuddles with me at night when I am in my bed.

Max Factor is interesting.  He is a little chatterbox and he always needs to be near me.  When Sheryl and I were driving up from LA (did it in one night!!), Maxi had been in his carrier for HOURS (over 12 at that point) so I let him out.  Carefully.

He got up on the console between us, put his front paws on the top of the dashboard and stood there tall and proud watching the road greet us.  Brave kitty.

Wish I had taken a picture of it.  It is a beautiful memory.

Mirapex!

Actually slept last night!!  Have not been able to sleep the past few nights due to RLS (Restless Legs Syndrome -- stupid name!  Just like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Sounds like so much imagined bull shit).

The urge, the twitch, the tingle makes it impossible to stay still.  Started in my legs about 5 years ago.  Remember sitting in my chair at my desk at IndyMac Bank and having my boss, Shelley, talking to me about something and I couldn't sit still.  I kept squirming but the feeling would not be sated. 

It was so random.  Do not remember it happening much until 2008 when I was at Roger and Charlotte's and Charlotte and I were watching late night TV.  Twice that I recall I would just stretch and squirm.  So stupid.  Frustrating.

Then I moved here and they symptoms got worse -- environment or RLS just getting worse (tends to get worse with age).

Finally RLS got so severe it started affecting my arms.

On Sunday I texted my friend Kris -- whom I have known since 1984 when we were pages at NBC together -- because I remembered her saying something about RLS.

She texted me back that evening with the name of a product (Restful Legs) that you can get over the counter.  I took so many Monday night I started having vision problems (everything was gray with black through it and white holes through which you could see various views of my bedroom from my bed).

Woke up Tuesday with a horrible headache, sensitivity to light and nausea.

Took Mirapex last night and, boy, do I feel great today!

It is 63-degrees and windy in Portland today.  Enjoying just sitting here at my laptop, surrounded by cats, writing.

I have found that when I work (Fri - Sun, usually), I have no time to blog.  I go to the gym after work so I get home at 7:30 or 8 and am beat.  Just enough energy left to make dinner and go to bed.

I will see how this plays out.

Sometimes

Sometimes I get so excited about writing or writing reading homework that I can't calm myself down enough to actually do it.

I fear this site

I guess I have to use it more to familiarize myself with it.  I am always afraid I will delete everything I wrote or commit some other heinous crime.

I fell down today.  (Again .. and it had been so long in between spills).  I was walking down the sidewalk and missed a raised bit of concrete.  I skidded along the sidewalk (just take a look at my right knee and my chin!) and came to rest all the way to the place my keys had flown.

Two maids in a car saw me.  Offered no help.  Maybe they were too busy laughing.

Came home and took 2 oxycodine.  Saved them for a good reason.

hate

just erased entire entry after wrote was afraid I would hit something wrong and that would happen.  Hate this blogging shit.

Restless

Went to a Chronic Conditions workshop (to be held weekly) yesterday at the Catholic church up the street -- so close I can walk!

Not sure if I am going to go back.  The people were nice enough but seem a lot older than me.

Plus, every week we are supposed to form an action plan for the rest of the week.  Some people wrote "Walk three minutes" or "Perform shoulder exercises," while mine is "Go to gym 4-5 times: 30 mins bike, 30 mins upper/lower body machines (One day upper, the next day lower, etc), plank and 20 minutes stretching."

You are supposed to rate your confidence level of you achieving this goal from 1-10; only 7-10's are allowed.

I rated mine "10" and the leader seemed surprised.  "You think you can do that?"

"I know I can."

After the meeting, a woman named Kathleen approached me and warned me, "Be careful of those machines.  I tore up my knee on the leg extension.  Those machines are bad news and the trainers just put you on a machine and guess a weight and off you go!"

Well, my trainer (whom I met with today!!) did not just cookie cutter my routine.  She took care to make sure the weights were challenging yet doable.  She watched my form and gave me some helpful tips.

I just feel my frame of mind is so different from these people.  PLUS you are supposed to have a buddy you call once a week.  I got the chattiest of the group and that worries me because I have no boundaries on the phone!!

Gonna have to set a time with her (10 minutes) and be firm on it.

I feel bad .. like I am letting down the group leader.

I did learn something helpful -- that we all feel isolated!  CFS and FMS are "live in your bed" illnesses so I never really get to meet that many people; let alone a romantic interest.

I slept away my 30's, my 40's and now am afraid I will do the same to my 50's.

Last night the most horrible thing happened.  Bed has always been my respite.  I lie down, relax and go to sleep.  I did a sleep study test in 2005 and all they came up with was it takes me longer than the average bear to fall asleep.

I was going to see if there was anything they could do about me not waking up ... sleeping entire weekends away (true!  I would get home on a Friday night, go to bed around 10 and not wake up until Sunday evening -- not even to go to the bathroom.  My body just shuts down).

What happened last night now has me afraid to go to bed tonight.

I have, what I can only guess is, restless leg syndrome.  At night, as I would watch TV or cuddle with the cats (beginning to relax).  The muscles in my legs would have to be moved!!  I would have to stretch or tighten and release.

The muscles aren't twitching or tightening on their own, they are "relaxed" but something inside them makes them uncomfortable and I have to continually move them.

It had only happened to my legs.  Then , a few times, it started happening to my arms!

I can't get comfortable (understatement)

But the saving grace was whenever I would lie completely down in bed -- not watching TV or anything -- the urge would stop.  Whew.

Well, last night, my legs were a little restless while I was trying to play solitaire on my droid so I turned the phone off, turned on to my side and got ready to cuddle up and sleep.

The muscles in my legs started needing to be stretched (when I try not to move them the urge just gets worse) and then my arms started to chime in, too.

I was lying down -- the only way I used to be able to get it to stop -- and it wasn't helping.  AND it wasn't just my legs .. my arms were engaged in this dance as well.

I stretched and tensed and tossed and turned.  I finally fell asleep but I am not sure when or how.

I wish I could find out what this is.  I would gladly do whatever is needed to stop this crazy 
neurological trick.  Give me meds!  Please .. please.

Long Time No See

So ... I got these contacts.  My first contacts EVER!

I just don't know .. is my left eye supposed to be this blurry?   Some friends have said that I just need to get used to them but I have been putting them in (and tearing them out) for the past two weeks.  No change!!

Guess I better call my optometrist (can't see if I spelled that correctly .. all the letter blend together).

Seeing a trainer tomorrow at the gym.  Very excited..  I have my own routine but am willing to add more spice to it.

I CAN'T SEE THIS!!!

The reason I am resurrecting my blog is because I started a MEMOIR WRITING class yesterday.  Very cool.  Jennifer, the instructor, asked if anyone had a blog.  I raised my hand, quietly ashamed I have not been doing anything with it since May!

Wait .. I'm gonna take these damned things out.

***

Ahhhh ... that's better.

I really need to call that optometrist tomorrow.

Jennifer (instructor) is writing a book via blog.  I just want to get back in the habit of writing pretty much daily.  Working on GENERAL RELIEF.  Thought of another book I want to write -- dealing directly with my disabilities: chronic fatigue, fibromyagia and chronic depression.  If I could keep some sort of log going, maybe I could inevitably help others.

Got a little (very little) writing done on GENERAL RELIEF today (which is more than I did in 2010 and 2011!!!).  Studying Bernard Cooper's TRUTH SYRUM chapter on a restaurant he and his parents would go to.  On Hollywood Blvd.  I wonder if it has been torn down?  I know nothing of Burl's.

Taking apart his experience line by line.  Need to turn my MOTHER'S DAY 2009 into something close.

I need to set the scene.  The scene is the restaurant Duke's in Hemet (where Mom used to live).

But, I do not think I start with the restaurant as the scene setter -- I start with Hemet!  So I have been researching the history of Hemet.

Through my online travels I discovered the owner of Duke's, Maurice (he spells his name differently .. need to get up on that!), was arrested last December for sexual assault and kidnapping.  I even have him in my story.

It was creepy to pull up his booking photo and say, "Yup!  That's him."

Can't wait to tell my brother.

After yesterday's class I found myself so excited about writing that I couldn't write!  Did a little reading and studying.  Activities I am not that good at (activities at which I am not that good).

My first boyfriend, Rob (the-best-boyfriend-in-the-world), used to tease me about the sentences I would highlight in my text books.  They had nothing to do with what I needed to know; they were not the meat of the subject.  I never understood that.  Of course, I had thought they meant something otherwise I never would have run my yellow highlighter over them.

So studying and reading are not my favorite things to do.  I love research but that is a different thing.  Running down facts and the magic that happens when you bring it all together is a joy.

I like to write.

Livin' Large

This is the biggest I have ever been.

I know in the past I felt fat but nothing compared to this.  It's weird semi:

Hurt

Well, I have fallen for the allure of female friendship again only to be reminded how bitchy women can be. 

Groups of women have never seemed to like me.

And high school I would have 2 friends, Amy and Eileen, and when they got together they would leave me out of things.  Talk smack behind my back.  Etc.

Now I have ousted myself from a group of 5 friends who constantly write back and forth on facebook.  I " left the conversation" and now no 1 will let me back in.

Feelings: hurt.  Rejection: present.

I want to make them feel as outcast and lonely as I do.  Oh well.

Waiting for the TV to tell me wassup!

Around 8:14 this morning, a bevvy of screaming police cars raced up my street.  Headed north.  The hits just kept on coming .. more and more cars.  I counted 14.

Called the non-emergency police line and the officer was not able to give much information.  Said that the Police PR had not yet issued a statement.  Watch the news, he told me.

Well, I have been watching the news and no breaking news yet.

But it is only an hour and 10 minutes since the first police car zoomed down the avenue. 

I am between going to the gym and sticking to my TV.  Think I will give it one more hour and then head off to the gym.

Could be a waste of precious time.

I know!  I can make calls while I am waiting.

Yea for me!!

Just found out from my sources in LA (Linda Green .. how much does she rock?) that a gentleman on Shaver Street is threatening suicide and police heard a gun shot.  They are proceeding with care.

I'll Cry If I Want To!!

It's my birthday!!   And what a great day it has been.  Cuddling with the cats, napping too much (is there ever really TOO MUCH NAPPING??), eating chocolate and getting so many good wishes on facebook (thank goodness for fb!).

Thank goodness for my friends.

Not much to report.  This is my first b'day in Portland and, although I celebrate it alone, it is a winner.

I took a break from all that med calling and just took it easy.  Tomorrow the calls resume ...

My birthday lunch was Friday the 20th.  I went to Gracie's in the
 Hotel DuLuxe.  Linen napkins natch.  Gracie's

I went with the women who lunch group from Meet Up.  We have gone rogue and are now updating each other through yahoo.  Meet Up charges per listing.  We can beat that one.

They surprised another guest and  me with cheesecake and carrot cake -- candles in both.  So sweet.

Today, I put a candle in EVERY MEAL, as well as every dessert, except for breakfast.  A candle wouldn't stand up in millet.

Not Sure What To Do

How am I going to afford my $402 a month Abilify?  And that is WITH medical insurance.  Just fell into the coverage gap and am afraid I will have to just go off my meds -- those meds that are working so wonderfully for me.

Sigh.  I knew life was too good to be true.

Pretty Things

State of the Tamara Address

This is what a blog is for ... to bitch!

And, boy, do I have a lot to bitch about.

My Mom is dying.  And she is a horrible woman.  We never really got along due to her abusive, rage-a-holic (and alcoholic) nature.  I am 52 years old and still terrified of her.

Last time I was out was over Christmas.  We had just discovered she had a brain tumor (the week after Thanksgiving) and her sisters flew me out there so I could spend some time with her.

At that time she said, "Well, rest up.  I am going to put you to work!"

I hate her.

She was so awful to me -- and non-compliant with her doctors and yelling at the nurses -- that one day the chain in the guest toilet broke and I could not get it back together and I was scared to death to tell her.

I cried on the phone to my friend Hope .. that's how scared I was.

I never did tell her.  My brother kept it a secret and just quietly fixed it the next time he was out there. 

So, I talk to her on the phone today and she says, "Rest up!  I'm going to put you to work!" and then wonders why I am not more excited about the trip.

Could we please remember I am on DISABILITY?  (for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)  If the government recognizes me as disabled, why can't she?

I am so stressed I feel like I could EXPLODE.

I hate to travel anyway.  This doesn't make me feel like doing it.

Plus, I worry when I leave my cats and my apartment.

The police told me that the dive bar right next door to me (Magoo's) goes from being an old timer bar fly establishment to a gang banging hang out.  I hope it is less and less gang.  Obviously.

And I thought my gang problem in LA was bad!!!!

I am stewing in fear.  

And, yet, I am not. 

I am not out late (not anymore ... guess once I moved to KoreaTown that cured me of wanting to go out late!!!) and do not go to the bar.  The cops said that the gang crowd just drinks, plays pool and then leaves -- drive off to their Hoover 'hood. 

I watched a documentary a few nights ago which was supposed to be on the gang situation in Phoenix but turned out to be Portland.

They came up from LA in the early 80's.  There were no gangs here so they could sell their drugs and trade their guns unobstructed.

But, once I learned more about them and saw their faces, I was less afraid.  If anything does happen to me ... well, it is out of my control.  It is in God's hands and after seeing them and their colors (Orange) and learned about the Rollin 60's and EBKs, I have been a lot less afraid.

It is just when I think of going out of town I am fearful.

But, once I have left I am usually OK.

Hate spending the night in my Mom's place.  It is a scary place.  I do not do well in homes -- esp when the only other person is a frail, elderly woman.  Maybe I will sleep on the couch there.

That might soothe me.

Haven't been around for awhile

My droid razr loves me.

I am really enjoying my new phone.  Just downloaded blogger and am writing this by talking into my phone! 

Life is beautiful.

My phone even works as the television remote .

I am in awe.

To GYM or Not To GYM

Well, lets be fair and say I WILL gym tomorrow.  My body wants to do today but my head does not.  Need to shower -- yes, I am that dirty -- BEFORE I go.

Spent a fun day learning my DROID RAZR and downloading music, etc.

Was worried about Hope.  Hadn't spoken to her in a few days and that is unusual.  Left her another message this morning and she called back this early afternoon.  She has a bad cold.

Watching neighbor's unattended 3 year old son come close to the edge of a cement flight of stairs.  He would be travelling DOWN them.  I can't be everyone's watch dog.

Cell Block

Sigh ... phone (Vortex) is completely dead.  Can only make intermittent phone calls.  Texting: GONE.  Emails: GONE.  Applications: CRASHED.  Browser: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Ding dong.

Hey!  Guess what!  The Fex Ex guy was here and ..... here is my new phone!

Do I have time to get ready for work, drive to Verizon at the Lloyd Center and get phone up and running OR not?

I do not like to do things before work cuz it makes me nervous I won't get to work on time.

Well, let's move it.

Happy Friday the 13th!!

Black cats everywhere!!!

They're waiting for you!!
(To love you ... even though this pic can be creepy)

Much love, from the cats.
We WILL cross your path.

Gym ... Trainer ... RAZR

Got to the gym THREE times this week: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. 

Wednesday I met with a trainer who helped me better understand the machines and how I should deal with them.

I got a great workout each day.

DRAG: Wanna go tomorrow but I work and then have to take RAZR to Verizon to have it changed over from Mi's info to mine.

Why will it have Mi's info on it?  I am using her upgrade.  That is not what they told me at first.  They told me after all the problems I am having on my Vortex : (
they would upgrade me early.

All they did was take Mi's upgrade and give it to me .. which means the phone is not just a plug and play for me.  I have to go into the Verizon store and let them dick around with it before I can play.

At least I will be able to get them to put the cool cover I got on the RAZR.

I won't have to try and pry it open, eventually breaking it.

I don't feel that well tonight.  Kinda spacey.  Kinda like CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) is gonna hit full force (flu-like symptoms starting with headache and feverish spaciness).  Think I will go to bed soon.

Have a lot to do tomorrow.

Made it to GYM

Ahhhhh .....

Droid RAZR

Still in waiting mode.  I kinda blew it when I ordered the wrong phone (Spectrum) and had to send it back.

Daniel from Verizon called me this morning (he so rocks.  He has taken on my case as his personal quest) and they did get the phone back as of 11:01 last night.  However, the main person on our Friends & Family line paid her portion of the bill ($198) on the 31st and accidentally left one number off from her bank account so Verizon cannot credit it.

Good thing Daniel is dealing with it!  We never would have known and they plan on suspending our service on Wednesday!

So, sent an email to the party involved and hopefully she will clear it up soon AND I can get my phone.

Unfortuntately, this means I have to wait until Friday to speak with Daniel and get things -- hopefully -- rolling!  Not sure if my Spectrum will be credited by then OR if the payment has been what is messing us up this whole time. 

It is a late payment as well.

We all have our issues.  Especially monitary.

Hurry, RAZR, hurry ...

There is already a special place in my heart for you.

Morning Coffee

Ahhhh...

It feels so good to sit here at my laptop and enjoy my warm, creamy coffee.  This is one of my favorite times of the days.

The days I work I have my coffee as I am applying my makeup.

I love putting on makeup.  It is like painting .. to me it is art.  And at least I can have a little creativity in my day. 

Today I plan on hitting the gym as soon as my coffee is finished.  I wonder how long I can nurse this cup o' joe.

Housekeeping

Well .. after much online research and plenty of online headaches, I have FINALLY come to an honest to God decision about my phone.

My next phone will be ....

TAH DAH!

The Motorola Droid RAZR.

I did download Pocket Cloud by Wyse into my Vortex .. just to see how it worked.  I can use it with or instead of MotoCast.  But the RAZR comes with MotoCast AND I can get that really cool weather app I LOVE (3 D Digital Weather) to float on the home page.  Making the RAZR not too masculine.

I will girly it up as much as possible.

One review of the LG Spectrum was that it looked too cartoony.  Well, that didn't help me as I love cartoony.


Spoke to

for the 7 millionth time in the past week (they are so good) and they were helpful and polite as ever (I am not being sarcastic!!).

One guy is going to call me Friday as he is following up on my refusal of the LG Spectrum (still hurts) and let me know if my package has made it back and THEN I can order the RAZR and have it delivered prolly by next Wednesday.  One more week.

I can hardly wait.

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY, ARMANI

My tuxedo cat.  Natch.

Maxi

Maxi likes to jump on my laptop.  For some reason I think it is cute and let him stay there for a little while.

Actually, he is very forceful and no matter how many times I toss him to the ground or move him to the kitty condo, he just comes back all the stronger.

Today, he erased all my emails in yahoo from March 18th to present.  I have no idea how to get these back nor do I know what his punishment should be.  Bad kitty!!

(Bad mommy!)

Sit Down Already

Well, my VORTEX is not saved ...

So all day yesterday -- outside of an hour long conference call for NB -- I spent on the phone with Verizon (four different operators ... my trying to get new info so I could make up my mind) and then trying on phones at one of their retail stores.

Let the fight begin!!!

I ended up going with the LG Spectrum.  Since they had approved my early upgrade -- because of all the problems I have been having with the VORTEX -- I had to do all my business online. 

I still was unsettled (even after another hour phone call to get things set up).  So, I chatted online with "Hector" at Verizon (pretty helpful but not correct in all his assessments) and THEN called 800-922-0204 again (see?  I now know the number by heart!!).  This time I got THE MOST HELPFUL advice in the form of an email from some wonderful woman at V. 

She sent me info on both the LG Spectrum and the Droid RAZR. 

LG Spectrum Simulator

DROID RAZR Simulator

NOW I was able to play with all the features the phone have and with MotoCast (stream data straight from home and work computers to my Droid RAZR) I am going with the Droid RAZR.  I could not find a like app for the LG Spectrum. 

Which means I need to reject the LG Spectrum package when it arrives on Monday and figure out WHEN I will be able to get the Droid RAZR.

It's gonna be hard not to open that box!!

I Know You Are Waiting On The Edge Of Your Seat

My LG Vortex has been saved!!!!

Spoke to Verizon and after they offered me a free upgrade to the LG Enlighten or the LG Spectrum (both of which I covet), I was told I could add a memory card to my Vortex.  8 MGs here I come!!

I love Verizon.  I even got free next day shipping ($12.99) out of the deal.

Back In Time

Going back ..... back back to red ....

Going back ... back back to 34.
 

It's a nice trip.

Time to simmer ...

What is Chronic Fatigue?

You know how it feels when you are JUST coming down with the flu: muscle aches, fever, mental confusion, exhaustion, headache, stomach ache?  That is what I have all the time.

I need easy jobs at which I do not have too long of a TO DO list.  I volunteer for my neighborhood community relations group and have decided to help with the newsletter advertising, however, in the beginning I was only supposed to go and pick up checks for ads from local businesses.

It soon turned into me being the AD MANAGER!!  Now I need to:
prospect new clients;
stay in touch with current advertisers to see if they want to advertise again;
send out emails about advertising;
keep a spreadsheet of current advertisers, past advertisers and payments;
take phone calls and emails from interested businesses;
collect all ad material (usually the companies business card) via email or in person;
send out newletters with:
*thank you letters
*invoices.

It is the spreadsheet that is killing me.  My brain just does not operate that way anymore.  It is frustrating to say the least.

I am confused and flu-esque all the time.  And I haven't even begun to tell you about how Fibro affects me.

Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue

Maybe this is what my blog should have been about all along.

I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome -- which sounds like so much bullshit (Chronic Fatigue!!  If the medical community took it seriously they never would have called it such a wimpy, accusing name).

I was first dianosed with Chronic Fatigue in 1989 -- when it was called Epstein Barr Virus (wish it still was).  However, they discovered that people can have high EPV titers but not have the disease so they changed it to the insulting "Chronic Fatigue."

I was so scared.  I have this flu that never went away.  I would rest all week long and then go back to work and the last time I literally crawled out -- on my hands and knees <<embarrassing>> -- to the elevator. 

I was working at Paramount Pictures in International Marketing for Features at the time.

I had a great boss, the VP, and an abusive senior publicist.  John R was awful -- and awful to me.  He just hated me ...

Not sure why.  I think he was just miserable himself ...

John R was NOT good enough to be a cat.

I was in an abusive romantic relationship with K, was abusing alcohol and was abused by John at work.  I had no respite.

So my body took over and collapsed.  It was all too much.

This is just a brief intro to CFS.  I will write more when I can AND include Fibromyalgia.

The Devil I Know

I have been researching phones as well as calling friends who have different phones than I and they are having really bad problems (in the middle of calls all of a sudden the person on the other end of the line cannot hear the caller, though the caller can hear them; keyboards freezing, etc).

So, what do I do?

Well, nothing today.  I had horrible nightmares last night where I was super fighting with my Mom because she said she was going to start letting lil miss coco chanel and Max Factor outside!!  (No idea where Armani was ...)

I went to work during the day so had no way of stopping her.

This is a bit of a recurring nightmare where my cats have been getting outside; in one Lolita was captured by an animal abuser and we need go no further than that.

Well, I hope Hope reads you today.  If so, "HI HOPERS!!"

I chatted with Verizon about phones last night online and am still as confused as I was before.

IF ONLY I could find out how to stop this LOW ON MEMORY/TEXT REJECTED problem once and for all ... I would be so happy to keep my Vortex.  It mostly rocks.

Phone Phun

No More:

Soon to be:

Covered with:

SELL OUT!!

My friend Kris Kahle (www.kriskahle.com) added "Ad Sense" to her blog.  I decided, "Why not?"

Now that it is there I feel like I have sold out.  How do I get rid of it??  I was only trying to be helpful as well as dress up my blog.

Lunch Bunch

At my fav bagel place, Kettleman's, waiting for my fav bagel sandwich.  Ham, pepperoni, black olives, red onions, provolone cheese - all on a toasted onion bagel.

Oops .. ate it before I could take a picture.  Pointless post, really.

End of LG VORTEX

Well, this is the tenth time - on four different phones - my stupid Vortex has become low on memory.  There is nothing left to delete so I will be trading in for another phone.

Makes me sad.  Like breaking up with an abusive boyfriend.

From my LG VORTEX.

Wow.  This is fun.  I can now blog from anywhere.  Now, if only I had something to say.

If Wishes Were Fishes

I wish someone would leave a comment.  If only a little "hi."

Over The Limit

Got up this morning with excitement in my bones -- today is the day of the monthly Women's Lunch.  We went to the Davis Street Tavern.

I had ginger peach iced tea, a lamb burger and salad and FRESHLY baked warm cookies (once you order you have to wait 15 minutes for their warmy goodness to be delivered to your table).  And I had one of the best double cappuccinos I have ever had!

Afterward, Maria and Alania and I walked through downtown up to Everett and 11th to check out a pizza joint (upscale) which may house our next luncheon.

Yesterday, I fell into the grips of the Marketeers.  I bought.  $70 of shirts (three) that I do not need.  However, they are very cute and .. I guess they are mine now.

 OK .. those are disappointingly tiny.  As well as out of focus.  I guess I will go watch SVU now while I wait for them to be delivered.

Cat Fight

I wish my cats got along.  No, they don't fight all the time and it really is not bloody -- just "fun" for Maxi who pretends he is not trying to really bug his sister, lil miss coco chanel.

lil miss coco chanel, Armani and Max Factor.  Those are the names of my cats.  I am quite pleased with myself.

Dreamy little coco chanel.

Armani, the writer's helper.

Max Factor, the clown.

The End.

Done and Done! II

I CAN BREATHE!!

All those boxes are out of my apartment and down into storage!

Bonus cat .. per usual.

I also have a shot of the boxes gone that were acting as an end table/phone holder, but that shot still looks junky because of the wires from my TV all over the floor.

Well, why not ...

I have an actual table there now.

The room feels so big!  Of course, I now need to deal with the 5 huge boxes NB sent me!


<<pix to come>>

No Can Do

Nope ... no deal can I make on behalf of NB.  I am going to have to man up and tell independent pet store owners that I can no longer perform a demo when someone else is -- esp someone who can offer more than I can.  Ridiculous!

On the upside, got all my CRAP crammed into boxes for storage.  I have about 10-12 and do not know if they will fit or not but have a handyman, Brad, coming over to assist.  I love guys' spacial abilities.  The only woman I have ever met with such a talent is dear friend Charlotte.

I miss living with Charlotte.  I miss us going out to Starbucks during the day or Norm's late at night.  We had a blast -- hitting the sherman oaks galleria and going to see films.  Well, it was my decision to move far away.  Sigh.

And I am making some good friends here.  I go to the Portland Women's Lunch through Meet Up on Friday.  Looking forward to it.  My new pal Maria will be there.

Missed One

Yesterday ... don't even want to talk about it.

This horrible woman from Canidae pet food did a demo at the same time I did!  Have no idea what the store owner was thinking.  Obviously she didn't care.

A customer would have MY BRAND of pet food in THEIR ARMS and she would go up to them and talk them out of it with her, "Just for today you can buy a 5 lb bag and get one free!"  I can't sell against that!!

She converted at least 2 customers over ... I know there were more.  Esp in the cat section where our brands are right next to each other.

I thought I was going to cry -- all the emotion was stuck in my throat and behind my eyes.

I need NB to let me offer deals like that.

I am going to complain -- LOUDLY -- to NB and see if I can offer some sort of "Here I am," "For today ONLY" deal.

I hate pushy people.  I sell by giving out information on our product and NOT putting other brands down.  I sell by the smile on my face.

Canidae stole that from me yesterday.

Hi Mr Winer!!

See?  I told you this was nothing!!

Thanks for visiting, though.

Your friendship means a lot to me.

Intimidation

Wow ... been looking at some of the other blogs on this site and people sure take it seriously.  Wonderfully decorated pages, prose, etc.

There is really no reason for anyone to read mine.  But I am just doing this for myself ... I think.

Done and Done!

Figured out how to bookmark my SILLY KITTY blog.  Now I can actually come back to it whenever I want.  I know this may sound idiotic to some of you but I guess I am not as technically inclined as I thought I was.

Just don't tell my mother.

Third entry ever -- on this site

I am still not sure how to locate my blog in the browser bar. Not sure what my url is.

I guess there is a learning curve even with blogs ...

Second blog ever -- on this site

Had a BLAST today with new friend Maria White.  We went to downtown PDX, walked around in the rain, shopped, cappucino'ed and just chatted away.

Tomorrow: getting stitches out from 3-5's removal of basal cell carsenoma from my back AND getting three more instances of basal cell scraped out (yeow!).

Then it is off to Claire's to get my left lobe re-pierced.  Need to get there before 5pm.

Calls:
Car insurance quotes
Reader's Digest -- write or call.  Figure out tomorrow.

Let's hope I can do that. 

First blog ever -- on this site.

Wow ... not sure what to write.  I realize that saying I want to help to inspire others is a phrase hanging heavy on my head.  Well, I guess I can't worry about it.

Here is my blog.  My friend Hope suggested I start one.  She doesn't even blog but she is a very smart girl as well as a very smart friend. 

I want to figure out what to do with my (3) poems.  Thought of checking with Reader's Digest and seeing if they publish new material.  I am so paranoid about losing them that I want to get them published the easiest way possible.

Then I can move on.  Then I can work on other projects.

I keep waiting to make an entry as I want to get the url I want and have it from the start so people will always know how to access me.  Unfortunately I bought my name from You Start (up in August) and I do not know how to buy it back from them.  Guess I should call them ....