Waiting for the TV to tell me wassup!

Around 8:14 this morning, a bevvy of screaming police cars raced up my street.  Headed north.  The hits just kept on coming .. more and more cars.  I counted 14.

Called the non-emergency police line and the officer was not able to give much information.  Said that the Police PR had not yet issued a statement.  Watch the news, he told me.

Well, I have been watching the news and no breaking news yet.

But it is only an hour and 10 minutes since the first police car zoomed down the avenue. 

I am between going to the gym and sticking to my TV.  Think I will give it one more hour and then head off to the gym.

Could be a waste of precious time.

I know!  I can make calls while I am waiting.

Yea for me!!

Just found out from my sources in LA (Linda Green .. how much does she rock?) that a gentleman on Shaver Street is threatening suicide and police heard a gun shot.  They are proceeding with care.

I'll Cry If I Want To!!

It's my birthday!!   And what a great day it has been.  Cuddling with the cats, napping too much (is there ever really TOO MUCH NAPPING??), eating chocolate and getting so many good wishes on facebook (thank goodness for fb!).

Thank goodness for my friends.

Not much to report.  This is my first b'day in Portland and, although I celebrate it alone, it is a winner.

I took a break from all that med calling and just took it easy.  Tomorrow the calls resume ...

My birthday lunch was Friday the 20th.  I went to Gracie's in the
 Hotel DuLuxe.  Linen napkins natch.  Gracie's

I went with the women who lunch group from Meet Up.  We have gone rogue and are now updating each other through yahoo.  Meet Up charges per listing.  We can beat that one.

They surprised another guest and  me with cheesecake and carrot cake -- candles in both.  So sweet.

Today, I put a candle in EVERY MEAL, as well as every dessert, except for breakfast.  A candle wouldn't stand up in millet.

Not Sure What To Do

How am I going to afford my $402 a month Abilify?  And that is WITH medical insurance.  Just fell into the coverage gap and am afraid I will have to just go off my meds -- those meds that are working so wonderfully for me.

Sigh.  I knew life was too good to be true.

Pretty Things

State of the Tamara Address

This is what a blog is for ... to bitch!

And, boy, do I have a lot to bitch about.

My Mom is dying.  And she is a horrible woman.  We never really got along due to her abusive, rage-a-holic (and alcoholic) nature.  I am 52 years old and still terrified of her.

Last time I was out was over Christmas.  We had just discovered she had a brain tumor (the week after Thanksgiving) and her sisters flew me out there so I could spend some time with her.

At that time she said, "Well, rest up.  I am going to put you to work!"

I hate her.

She was so awful to me -- and non-compliant with her doctors and yelling at the nurses -- that one day the chain in the guest toilet broke and I could not get it back together and I was scared to death to tell her.

I cried on the phone to my friend Hope .. that's how scared I was.

I never did tell her.  My brother kept it a secret and just quietly fixed it the next time he was out there. 

So, I talk to her on the phone today and she says, "Rest up!  I'm going to put you to work!" and then wonders why I am not more excited about the trip.

Could we please remember I am on DISABILITY?  (for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)  If the government recognizes me as disabled, why can't she?

I am so stressed I feel like I could EXPLODE.

I hate to travel anyway.  This doesn't make me feel like doing it.

Plus, I worry when I leave my cats and my apartment.

The police told me that the dive bar right next door to me (Magoo's) goes from being an old timer bar fly establishment to a gang banging hang out.  I hope it is less and less gang.  Obviously.

And I thought my gang problem in LA was bad!!!!

I am stewing in fear.  

And, yet, I am not. 

I am not out late (not anymore ... guess once I moved to KoreaTown that cured me of wanting to go out late!!!) and do not go to the bar.  The cops said that the gang crowd just drinks, plays pool and then leaves -- drive off to their Hoover 'hood. 

I watched a documentary a few nights ago which was supposed to be on the gang situation in Phoenix but turned out to be Portland.

They came up from LA in the early 80's.  There were no gangs here so they could sell their drugs and trade their guns unobstructed.

But, once I learned more about them and saw their faces, I was less afraid.  If anything does happen to me ... well, it is out of my control.  It is in God's hands and after seeing them and their colors (Orange) and learned about the Rollin 60's and EBKs, I have been a lot less afraid.

It is just when I think of going out of town I am fearful.

But, once I have left I am usually OK.

Hate spending the night in my Mom's place.  It is a scary place.  I do not do well in homes -- esp when the only other person is a frail, elderly woman.  Maybe I will sleep on the couch there.

That might soothe me.

Haven't been around for awhile

My droid razr loves me.

I am really enjoying my new phone.  Just downloaded blogger and am writing this by talking into my phone! 

Life is beautiful.

My phone even works as the television remote .

I am in awe.

To GYM or Not To GYM

Well, lets be fair and say I WILL gym tomorrow.  My body wants to do today but my head does not.  Need to shower -- yes, I am that dirty -- BEFORE I go.

Spent a fun day learning my DROID RAZR and downloading music, etc.

Was worried about Hope.  Hadn't spoken to her in a few days and that is unusual.  Left her another message this morning and she called back this early afternoon.  She has a bad cold.

Watching neighbor's unattended 3 year old son come close to the edge of a cement flight of stairs.  He would be travelling DOWN them.  I can't be everyone's watch dog.

Cell Block

Sigh ... phone (Vortex) is completely dead.  Can only make intermittent phone calls.  Texting: GONE.  Emails: GONE.  Applications: CRASHED.  Browser: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Ding dong.

Hey!  Guess what!  The Fex Ex guy was here and ..... here is my new phone!

Do I have time to get ready for work, drive to Verizon at the Lloyd Center and get phone up and running OR not?

I do not like to do things before work cuz it makes me nervous I won't get to work on time.

Well, let's move it.

Happy Friday the 13th!!

Black cats everywhere!!!

They're waiting for you!!
(To love you ... even though this pic can be creepy)

Much love, from the cats.
We WILL cross your path.

Gym ... Trainer ... RAZR

Got to the gym THREE times this week: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. 

Wednesday I met with a trainer who helped me better understand the machines and how I should deal with them.

I got a great workout each day.

DRAG: Wanna go tomorrow but I work and then have to take RAZR to Verizon to have it changed over from Mi's info to mine.

Why will it have Mi's info on it?  I am using her upgrade.  That is not what they told me at first.  They told me after all the problems I am having on my Vortex : (
they would upgrade me early.

All they did was take Mi's upgrade and give it to me .. which means the phone is not just a plug and play for me.  I have to go into the Verizon store and let them dick around with it before I can play.

At least I will be able to get them to put the cool cover I got on the RAZR.

I won't have to try and pry it open, eventually breaking it.

I don't feel that well tonight.  Kinda spacey.  Kinda like CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) is gonna hit full force (flu-like symptoms starting with headache and feverish spaciness).  Think I will go to bed soon.

Have a lot to do tomorrow.

Made it to GYM

Ahhhhh .....

Droid RAZR

Still in waiting mode.  I kinda blew it when I ordered the wrong phone (Spectrum) and had to send it back.

Daniel from Verizon called me this morning (he so rocks.  He has taken on my case as his personal quest) and they did get the phone back as of 11:01 last night.  However, the main person on our Friends & Family line paid her portion of the bill ($198) on the 31st and accidentally left one number off from her bank account so Verizon cannot credit it.

Good thing Daniel is dealing with it!  We never would have known and they plan on suspending our service on Wednesday!

So, sent an email to the party involved and hopefully she will clear it up soon AND I can get my phone.

Unfortuntately, this means I have to wait until Friday to speak with Daniel and get things -- hopefully -- rolling!  Not sure if my Spectrum will be credited by then OR if the payment has been what is messing us up this whole time. 

It is a late payment as well.

We all have our issues.  Especially monitary.

Hurry, RAZR, hurry ...

There is already a special place in my heart for you.

Morning Coffee

Ahhhh...

It feels so good to sit here at my laptop and enjoy my warm, creamy coffee.  This is one of my favorite times of the days.

The days I work I have my coffee as I am applying my makeup.

I love putting on makeup.  It is like painting .. to me it is art.  And at least I can have a little creativity in my day. 

Today I plan on hitting the gym as soon as my coffee is finished.  I wonder how long I can nurse this cup o' joe.

Housekeeping

Well .. after much online research and plenty of online headaches, I have FINALLY come to an honest to God decision about my phone.

My next phone will be ....

TAH DAH!

The Motorola Droid RAZR.

I did download Pocket Cloud by Wyse into my Vortex .. just to see how it worked.  I can use it with or instead of MotoCast.  But the RAZR comes with MotoCast AND I can get that really cool weather app I LOVE (3 D Digital Weather) to float on the home page.  Making the RAZR not too masculine.

I will girly it up as much as possible.

One review of the LG Spectrum was that it looked too cartoony.  Well, that didn't help me as I love cartoony.


Spoke to

for the 7 millionth time in the past week (they are so good) and they were helpful and polite as ever (I am not being sarcastic!!).

One guy is going to call me Friday as he is following up on my refusal of the LG Spectrum (still hurts) and let me know if my package has made it back and THEN I can order the RAZR and have it delivered prolly by next Wednesday.  One more week.

I can hardly wait.

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY, ARMANI

My tuxedo cat.  Natch.

Maxi

Maxi likes to jump on my laptop.  For some reason I think it is cute and let him stay there for a little while.

Actually, he is very forceful and no matter how many times I toss him to the ground or move him to the kitty condo, he just comes back all the stronger.

Today, he erased all my emails in yahoo from March 18th to present.  I have no idea how to get these back nor do I know what his punishment should be.  Bad kitty!!

(Bad mommy!)