Restless

Went to a Chronic Conditions workshop (to be held weekly) yesterday at the Catholic church up the street -- so close I can walk!

Not sure if I am going to go back.  The people were nice enough but seem a lot older than me.

Plus, every week we are supposed to form an action plan for the rest of the week.  Some people wrote "Walk three minutes" or "Perform shoulder exercises," while mine is "Go to gym 4-5 times: 30 mins bike, 30 mins upper/lower body machines (One day upper, the next day lower, etc), plank and 20 minutes stretching."

You are supposed to rate your confidence level of you achieving this goal from 1-10; only 7-10's are allowed.

I rated mine "10" and the leader seemed surprised.  "You think you can do that?"

"I know I can."

After the meeting, a woman named Kathleen approached me and warned me, "Be careful of those machines.  I tore up my knee on the leg extension.  Those machines are bad news and the trainers just put you on a machine and guess a weight and off you go!"

Well, my trainer (whom I met with today!!) did not just cookie cutter my routine.  She took care to make sure the weights were challenging yet doable.  She watched my form and gave me some helpful tips.

I just feel my frame of mind is so different from these people.  PLUS you are supposed to have a buddy you call once a week.  I got the chattiest of the group and that worries me because I have no boundaries on the phone!!

Gonna have to set a time with her (10 minutes) and be firm on it.

I feel bad .. like I am letting down the group leader.

I did learn something helpful -- that we all feel isolated!  CFS and FMS are "live in your bed" illnesses so I never really get to meet that many people; let alone a romantic interest.

I slept away my 30's, my 40's and now am afraid I will do the same to my 50's.

Last night the most horrible thing happened.  Bed has always been my respite.  I lie down, relax and go to sleep.  I did a sleep study test in 2005 and all they came up with was it takes me longer than the average bear to fall asleep.

I was going to see if there was anything they could do about me not waking up ... sleeping entire weekends away (true!  I would get home on a Friday night, go to bed around 10 and not wake up until Sunday evening -- not even to go to the bathroom.  My body just shuts down).

What happened last night now has me afraid to go to bed tonight.

I have, what I can only guess is, restless leg syndrome.  At night, as I would watch TV or cuddle with the cats (beginning to relax).  The muscles in my legs would have to be moved!!  I would have to stretch or tighten and release.

The muscles aren't twitching or tightening on their own, they are "relaxed" but something inside them makes them uncomfortable and I have to continually move them.

It had only happened to my legs.  Then , a few times, it started happening to my arms!

I can't get comfortable (understatement)

But the saving grace was whenever I would lie completely down in bed -- not watching TV or anything -- the urge would stop.  Whew.

Well, last night, my legs were a little restless while I was trying to play solitaire on my droid so I turned the phone off, turned on to my side and got ready to cuddle up and sleep.

The muscles in my legs started needing to be stretched (when I try not to move them the urge just gets worse) and then my arms started to chime in, too.

I was lying down -- the only way I used to be able to get it to stop -- and it wasn't helping.  AND it wasn't just my legs .. my arms were engaged in this dance as well.

I stretched and tensed and tossed and turned.  I finally fell asleep but I am not sure when or how.

I wish I could find out what this is.  I would gladly do whatever is needed to stop this crazy 
neurological trick.  Give me meds!  Please .. please.